How to take a lead as a woman in a male dominated industry

 How to Take the Lead as a Woman in a Male-Dominated Industry

Breaking through barriers and paving the way for other women in male-dominated industries requires strength, resilience, and a strategy. As a woman in a field where you may be outnumbered or overlooked, the road to leadership can seem steep. But with the right mindset, tools, and strategies, it's not only possible but can be incredibly empowering.

Here are some essential tips on how to take the lead as a woman in a male-dominated industry:

1. Embrace Your Authenticity

Authenticity is your superpower. In industries that often prioritize a particular kind of behavior or leadership style, it can be tempting to conform. But true leadership comes from embracing who you are. Be confident in your unique perspective, skills, and qualities, and don’t shy away from using them to your advantage.

Instead of trying to "fit in," focus on how your difference can add value. Whether it’s your communication style, approach to problem-solving, or the diversity you bring to the table, authenticity fosters trust and respect, which are key elements of leadership.

2. Build a Strong Network

In any industry, networking is crucial, but in male-dominated fields, it becomes even more vital. Building a network of mentors, sponsors, and allies can provide support, open doors, and offer guidance as you navigate your career.

Seek out mentors who can offer advice and perspective on how to thrive in your industry. Sponsors, who advocate for you in high-level meetings and decision-making processes, are also important for career advancement. Don’t hesitate to build relationships with both men and women who have already made their mark, and be proactive in creating opportunities for other women too.

3. Develop Unshakable Confidence

As a woman in a male-dominated industry, there will be moments where doubt creeps in. Perhaps it’s a subtle comment or the lack of representation that causes you to question your abilities. Push through this by developing unshakable confidence in yourself and your skills.

Confidence doesn’t mean knowing everything—it means trusting your ability to learn, adapt, and overcome challenges. Practice speaking up in meetings, owning your achievements, and standing firm in your decisions. The more you own your voice, the more respect you’ll garner.

4. Position Yourself as a Subject Matter Expert

To lead in any industry, you need to establish yourself as an expert in your field. Invest in your personal and professional development—whether that’s through education, certifications, or hands-on experience. Becoming a subject matter expert will make it harder for anyone to dismiss you based on your gender.

Take on challenging projects, stay updated on industry trends, and share your knowledge with others. Establishing yourself as a go-to resource for knowledge builds your credibility and authority, making it easier to step into leadership roles.

5. Challenge the Status Quo (With Grace)

Women in male-dominated industries often face implicit biases and stereotypes. Sometimes, these biases manifest as barriers to advancement or opportunities. Rather than allowing these obstacles to hinder you, challenge them with grace. Stand up for yourself when necessary, but also approach challenges with a strategic mindset.

For instance, if you encounter bias or discrimination, address it directly but tactfully. Demonstrating leadership means being able to navigate tough situations with professionalism while fostering an inclusive environment for others.

6. Seek Leadership Roles (and Be Ready to Take Risks)

Leadership doesn’t always come to you—sometimes, you have to go after it. While this might feel intimidating, it's essential to take on leadership roles and stretch beyond your comfort zone. Even if a role seems daunting or risky, don’t let fear hold you back.

Taking calculated risks, even small ones like volunteering to lead a project, can provide you with the experience and confidence needed to take on bigger responsibilities. These opportunities can be springboards for more significant roles and give you the chance to demonstrate your leadership capabilities.

7. Champion Other Women

Women supporting women is a powerful dynamic. As you rise, remember to uplift others along the way. Help other women succeed by sharing opportunities, providing mentorship, and encouraging them to step into leadership roles. When you champion other women, you help foster a more inclusive and supportive culture within the workplace, which ultimately benefits everyone.

Being a trailblazer doesn’t mean doing it alone. Surrounding yourself with a community of like-minded women who share your goals and values creates a network of empowerment that helps you and others thrive.

8. Maintain a Work-Life Balance

Leadership doesn’t just mean excelling at work—it also involves knowing how to take care of your mental and physical health. The pressures of being in a male-dominated industry may often feel intense, but it’s crucial to find a balance that works for you.

Set boundaries, take time off when needed, and don’t feel guilty for prioritizing your well-being. When you’re well-rested and mentally sharp, you’re in a better position to lead effectively.

9. Turn Setbacks into Learning Opportunities

Setbacks are inevitable, but they’re also valuable learning experiences. Whether it's a failed project, a missed promotion, or an obstacle that seems insurmountable, every challenge is an opportunity to grow and improve.

Resilience is an essential leadership trait. Learn to embrace setbacks as stepping stones rather than roadblocks. Use them to refine your strategies, build character, and strengthen your resolve.

10. Advocate for Diversity and Inclusion

Lastly, take the lead in advocating for diversity and inclusion. This is not only a step toward breaking barriers but also an investment in the future of your industry. By championing diversity, you’re helping create a more balanced and equitable environment, which ultimately benefits everyone involved.

Start by engaging in conversations about the need for diversity, mentoring women and minorities, and helping establish policies that encourage inclusive practices. The more you advocate for others, the more you set the tone for future generations of women in your field.

Conclusion

Taking the lead as a woman in a male-dominated industry can be incredibly rewarding. The journey may have its challenges, but by embracing your authentic self, building a strong network, developing your expertise, and advocating for diversity, you can overcome these obstacles and rise to the top. Remember, leadership is not about your gender—it’s about your vision, ability to inspire others, and commitment to growth. With determination and the right mindset, you can pave the way for yourself and for other women coming up behind you.

The origin of the word narcissist and the types of narcissists

 The Origin of the Word “Narcissist” and How to Deal with Their Manipulation

The term "narcissist" is often tossed around in modern conversations, but few people are aware of its rich psychological and mythological roots. Understanding the origin of the word, the different types of narcissism, and how to deal with narcissistic manipulation is crucial in navigating personal and professional relationships.

The Mythological Origins of Narcissism

The word "narcissist" is derived from the Greek myth of Narcissus, a young man of extraordinary beauty. According to the myth, Narcissus was so entranced by his own reflection in a pool of water that he became fixated on it, unable to look away or detach himself from his image. Eventually, he died staring at his reflection, lost in self-love and obsession. This myth serves as the foundation for our understanding of narcissism today — an excessive love or admiration for oneself, often coupled with an inability to empathize with others.

The word "narcissism" was coined in the early 20th century by the psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud. Freud expanded upon the myth, using it to describe a state of self-love or self-obsession that could be pathological, where individuals prioritize their own needs and desires over everything else, leading to dysfunctional relationships and behaviors.

The Different Types of Narcissists

Narcissism is not a one-size-fits-all concept. It exists on a spectrum, and individuals with narcissistic tendencies can manifest in a variety of ways. Below are the primary types of narcissists:

1. Grandiose Narcissist (Overt Narcissist)

   • Traits: The grandiose narcissist is the classic image of a narcissist. They are confident, charismatic, and often boast about their accomplishments. They have an inflated sense of self-importance and believe they are superior to others. Their arrogance and sense of entitlement are evident in their interactions.
   • Behavior: These individuals often demand admiration and attention. They can be manipulative and disregard the feelings or needs of others. Grandiose narcissists may become enraged when their superiority is questioned.

2. Vulnerable Narcissist (Covert Narcissist)

   • Traits: Unlike the overt narcissist, the vulnerable narcissist is more introverted and sensitive. They tend to have a fragile sense of self-worth, and they crave validation and recognition, but often in a more passive or indirect way.
   • Behavior: Vulnerable narcissists may play the victim or manipulate others through guilt. They can be emotionally reactive and may have a tendency to sulk or withdraw when they feel overlooked or unappreciated. They may seem shy or humble on the surface, but their underlying need for attention and admiration is just as strong as that of grandiose narcissists.

3. Malignant Narcissist

   • Traits: Malignant narcissism is a more extreme and dangerous form of narcissism. These individuals display not only narcissistic traits but also antisocial and even sadistic behaviors. They have a strong desire to dominate and control others, often resorting to manipulation and deceit.
   • Behavior: Malignant narcissists are often cruel, vindictive, and enjoy causing others distress. They are capable of using others for their own gain without any remorse and may take pleasure in the suffering of others.

4. Communal Narcissist

   • Traits: Communal narcissists believe they are especially caring, helpful, and selfless. They often position themselves as the moral and ethical leader in social circles, constantly seeking recognition for their generosity and altruism.
   • Behavior: These individuals use their image of being a "helper" or "savior" to manipulate others into admiration. They expect to be praised for their contributions, and when they don’t receive the recognition they feel they deserve, they may become resentful or passive-aggressive.

How to Deal with Narcissistic Manipulation

Narcissistic individuals often employ various tactics to manipulate others and maintain control. Recognizing these behaviors is key to protecting yourself from their influence. Here are some strategies for dealing with narcissistic manipulation:

1. Set Boundaries

   • Narcissists often disregard other people's boundaries. Establishing clear, firm boundaries is crucial when dealing with a narcissist. Be direct and assertive, and do not allow them to push you into compromising your values or needs.

2. Don't Take It Personally

   • Narcissists are highly self-centered, and their behavior is often a reflection of their own insecurities and need for control. If they lash out or criticize you, remember it’s not about you — it’s about their inability to handle their own emotional turmoil.

3. Stay Calm and Avoid Emotional Reactions

   • Narcissists thrive on creating emotional turmoil in their interactions. When confronted, they may use guilt-tripping, rage, or passive-aggressive comments to provoke a response. Stay calm, composed, and resist the urge to react emotionally, as they often use your emotional reactions as fuel for their manipulative tactics.

4. Limit Engagement

   • With narcissists, less is often more. Limit the time and energy you invest in them, and avoid engaging in power struggles. If you find yourself constantly trying to prove your worth or arguing over trivial matters, it may be a sign that the narcissist is exerting control over your interactions.

5. Use the “Gray Rock” Method

   • The “Gray Rock” method involves becoming as emotionally unresponsive as possible. Narcissists thrive on drama and attention, so by being dull and uninteresting, you deprive them of the emotional stimulation they seek. Respond with short, non-engaging answers and avoid offering any personal information.

6. Seek Support

   • If you're in a relationship or work environment with a narcissist, seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist can help you navigate the complexities of the situation. Narcissistic abuse can take a toll on your emotional well-being, so it's important to have a support system to help you maintain perspective and self-care.

7. Know When to Walk Away

   • In some cases, the best option may be to distance yourself entirely. If the narcissist’s behavior becomes toxic, emotionally damaging, or manipulative beyond repair, consider cutting ties or minimizing contact for your own mental health and safety.

Final Thoughts

The term "narcissist" has evolved from its mythological origins to become a widely recognized psychological term. Whether dealing with a grandiose narcissist who craves admiration or a more covert one who hides behind a mask of vulnerability, recognizing their behaviors and understanding how to protect yourself is vital.

Narcissism, while deeply ingrained in an individual's psyche, can be managed. By setting boundaries, staying emotionally detached, and protecting your mental health, you can reduce the negative impact of a narcissist's manipulative behavior on your life. Remember, it's okay to prioritize your own well-being and take action when necessary to avoid falling victim to narcissistic exploitation.

How to master emotional dependency

Mastering Emotional Dependency: A Path to Self-Empowerment.

Emotional dependency, or relying heavily on others for validation, support, or emotional stability, is something that many of us experience at various points in our lives. Whether it's through relationships, friendships, or even family ties, emotional dependency can feel comforting in the short term. However, it often leads to feelings of helplessness, insecurity, and a lack of personal autonomy in the long run. 

The good news is, emotional dependency is not something you’re stuck with forever. With conscious effort and self-awareness, you can master it, transforming dependency into emotional self-sufficiency. Here’s how to navigate this path and build a more balanced, empowered emotional life.

1. Understand Emotional Dependency

The first step to mastering emotional dependency is understanding it. Emotional dependency involves excessive reliance on others for emotional support, approval, or reassurance. While this can sometimes stem from genuine need, it often signals an imbalance in how we perceive our worth. People who are emotionally dependent often fear rejection or abandonment, and they may struggle to feel whole without constant external validation.

Understanding that emotional dependency stems from deep-seated fears or past experiences allows you to approach the issue with compassion for yourself. It’s important to acknowledge that this behavior is not inherently wrong; rather, it’s a sign that you need to build stronger emotional resilience and self-worth.

2. Develop Self-Awareness

Becoming self-aware is crucial in mastering emotional dependency. Take the time to reflect on your emotional responses and triggers. Are you reaching out to others for reassurance more than you’d like? Are you finding it difficult to feel at ease when you're alone? These signs point to emotional dependence that could benefit from strengthening.

Mindfulness practices, journaling, and therapy are great tools for building self-awareness. Journaling, for example, can help you track patterns in your emotional reactions, revealing how you depend on others for comfort. Once you understand these triggers, you can begin to address them.

3. Cultivate Self-Compassion

One of the most effective ways to reduce emotional dependency is to develop a deep sense of self-compassion. Often, emotional dependence is rooted in a lack of self-acceptance or fear of not being “enough.” To counteract this, practice speaking to yourself with kindness. Instead of berating yourself for needing others, acknowledge your feelings and reassure yourself that it’s okay to be vulnerable.

Self-compassion doesn’t mean avoiding growth or shying away from challenges. It’s about offering yourself understanding and patience as you work through your dependency. It helps you shift from seeking validation externally to nurturing your own inner confidence.

 4. Build Emotional Independence

Emotional independence doesn’t mean cutting yourself off from others or never seeking help. Rather, it involves developing a sense of emotional stability that is rooted within you. Here are some strategies to build emotional independence:

Develop a strong sense of self-worth

: Work on understanding and affirming your unique value, independent of anyone else’s approval. Celebrate your achievements, strengths, and qualities.

Learn to regulate your emotions: Practice emotional regulation techniques like deep breathing, grounding exercises, or mindfulness to handle difficult emotions on your own, rather than relying on others to soothe you.

Cultivate hobbies and interests: Engaging in activities you love or discovering new passions can help you build a fulfilling life that doesn’t rely on others to provide emotional fulfillment.

Practice healthy boundaries: Setting boundaries is essential in emotional self-sufficiency. Learn to say no when necessary and create space for yourself to recharge and reconnect with your own needs.

 5. Strengthen Your Support System

While emotional independence is important, it’s also essential to have a support system of people who can offer guidance and comfort when needed. However, the key here is balance. Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect and the recognition that both individuals can contribute to the emotional well-being of the relationship.

Choose to surround yourself with people who encourage your emotional growth and independence. They should not be your sole source of emotional fulfillment but should instead serve as valuable resources for mutual support and understanding.

6. Seek Professional Help

If emotional dependency feels overwhelming, or if you’re struggling to make progress on your own, therapy can be an invaluable resource. A therapist can help you uncover the root causes of your emotional dependence, whether they stem from past trauma, childhood experiences, or unhealthy relationship patterns. They can also equip you with tools and strategies to navigate difficult emotions and develop a more balanced sense of self.

7. Practice Patience and Persistence

Breaking free from emotional dependency isn’t something that happens overnight. It’s a process that requires time, effort, and a willingness to embrace discomfort as you grow. There may be setbacks along the way, and it’s important to remain patient with yourself.

Celebrate your progress, no matter how small, and understand that each step you take toward emotional independence brings you closer to a stronger, more resilient version of yourself.

Conclusion

Mastering emotional dependency is an empowering journey toward self-sufficiency and emotional well-being. By developing self-awareness, cultivating self-compassion, building emotional independence, and seeking support when necessary, you can create a solid foundation for emotional resilience. This process not only frees you from the constraints of emotional dependency but also helps you build more fulfilling, balanced relationships with others.

Remember, emotional independence doesn’t mean isolation or detachment. It simply means that your emotional stability and sense of worth come from within, allowing you to navigate life’s challenges with confidence and a deep sense of self-assurance.

Being black, independant and a woman

 Embracing Independence as a Black Woman: The Power of Resilience and Self-Determination

In a world that has often sought to define and limit Black women, there is a profound strength in embracing independence. Being a Black woman and choosing to stand tall, own your voice, and live on your own terms is not only an act of resistance but also one of empowerment. It's about reclaiming space and writing your own narrative, even when society tries to write it for you.

The Historical Struggle and Triumphs of Black Women

The journey of Black women’s independence has never been easy. Historically, Black women have been marginalized, often overlooked in conversations around gender equality, and subjected to systemic racism. From slavery to segregation, Black women have had to fight for basic human rights, economic freedom, and the ability to make decisions about their own lives. Their stories have been filled with untold hardships, yet the resilience demonstrated by so many continues to shape the path toward independence today.

The fight for independence wasn’t just about political freedom—it was about reclaiming dignity, humanity, and a sense of self. Icons like Harriet Tubman, Sojourner Truth, and Maya Angelou demonstrated how strength and independence could exist in the face of insurmountable odds. These women didn’t just break barriers for themselves; they paved the way for future generations of Black women to live boldly and freely.

The Challenges of Being a Black Woman in Today’s World

While progress has been made, being a Black woman today still comes with its unique set of challenges. On one hand, there is the expectation to fit into societal norms that often don’t acknowledge the diverse beauty, intelligence, and talent of Black women. On the other hand, systemic racism continues to hinder access to resources and opportunities for many in the community. Yet, despite these barriers, Black women have continued to forge ahead, using every setback as fuel to rise higher.

Navigating the complexities of race and gender can be exhausting. There are times when we are faced with stereotypes, microaggressions, and the overwhelming need to be both strong and graceful under pressure. But in choosing independence, Black women have an unparalleled ability to thrive, despite these daily challenges. 

The Essence of Independence

Being independent as a Black woman is not just about financial freedom or career success, although those are incredibly important. It’s about owning your story and reclaiming your power, your identity, and your voice. It’s about knowing that your worth is not defined by others, but by your own self-recognition and self-love. 

Independence manifests in many forms: 

Financial Independence: Gaining control over your financial future is a crucial part of self-determination. This independence opens doors for Black women to make decisions based on their needs and desires, rather than relying on others. 

Emotional Independence: Learning to prioritize your mental well-being and creating boundaries that protect your peace is vital in a world that often demands too much from you. 

Personal Empowerment: The decision to unapologetically be yourself—whether it's in your career, relationships, or personal endeavors—can be incredibly freeing. 

Independence isn’t about doing everything alone; it’s about having the freedom to make choices that align with your values, dreams, and goals. It’s about knowing you are enough and having the strength to carve out your own space in this world.

Celebrating Black Women’s Strength

When we celebrate Black women’s independence, we honor their resilience. This is not just a personal victory—it’s a collective one. Every Black woman who has overcome adversity, defied expectations, or simply made space for herself, contributes to the greater narrative of liberation. Their stories deserve to be heard, not just for the sake of recognition, but because they inspire others to walk boldly in their own independence.

As a Black woman, independence is a declaration: you refuse to be defined by anyone else’s limitations. Your voice matters. Your dreams matter. Your journey matters. And no matter how difficult the road, you walk it with the knowledge that you have the power to change the course of your own life.

Moving Forward with Confidence

The future is full of possibilities, and Black women have the power to shape it. Whether you’re in a corporate boardroom, an artist’s studio, or a community meeting, the path to independence is yours to choose. There is no one-size-fits-all journey. The beauty of being a Black woman today is that you have the freedom to decide what success looks like for you—and to redefine it on your own terms.

Being independent doesn’t mean you do it all by yourself. It’s about knowing your worth, building a support system that elevates you, and continually pushing past obstacles. You are not just surviving—you are thriving, and the world can no longer ignore your power.

In the end, independence as a Black woman is about more than just existing; it’s about thriving in a world that often doesn’t understand your worth. But with each step you take, you rewrite the narrative. And that, in itself, is the true meaning of freedom.

How quit a toxic relationship

How to Quit a Toxic Relationship: A Guide to Prioritize Your Well-Being

Ending a toxic relationship can be one of the most difficult decisions a person has to make, but it can also be one of the most empowering. Whether the relationship is romantic, familial, or even a friendship, when negativity, manipulation, or abuse becomes the norm, it’s time to take a step back and assess your emotional health. Here’s a guide to help you navigate the process of quitting a toxic relationship and reclaiming your peace.

1. Recognize the Signs of Toxicity

Before you can break free, it's important to recognize that the relationship is, indeed, toxic. While every relationship goes through ups and downs, toxicity is characterized by patterns of behavior that harm your mental, emotional, or physical well-being. Some signs of a toxic relationship include:

Constant criticism or belittling:You may feel like you're never good enough, no matter what you do.

Manipulation or control: One person may always try to control the actions, thoughts, or emotions of the other.

Lack of support or empathy: A toxic relationship often lacks mutual respect and understanding. One partner may disregard the other's feelings or needs.

Emotional or physical abuse: Any form of abuse, whether it's verbal, emotional, or physical, is a major red flag that it’s time to leave.

2. Understand Why You Stayed

Acknowledge why you stayed in the toxic relationship in the first place. This can be a powerful part of the healing process. Many people stay in unhealthy relationships because they feel guilty about leaving, fear being alone, or are emotionally dependent on the other person. Sometimes, love and attachment can cloud our judgment, making it difficult to see the situation clearly.

Taking time to understand your reasons will help you process your emotions and set clear boundaries going forward. Reflecting on the red flags you ignored earlier can help prevent you from falling into similar patterns in the future.

3. Seek Support from Trusted Friends or Professionals

Ending a toxic relationship is often challenging, and you don’t have to do it alone. Reach out to trusted friends or family members who can offer emotional support and guidance. If necessary, consider speaking to a therapist or counselor who can provide a professional perspective and help you develop coping strategies.

Sometimes, a third party can give you a clearer view of the situation and affirm that you're making the right decision. Therapy can also help you heal from any trauma caused by the relationship and rebuild your self-esteem.

 4. Set Clear Boundaries

Once you've decided to leave, setting clear boundaries is crucial to avoid being drawn back into the relationship. Be firm about your decision, even if the other person tries to manipulate or guilt you into staying. You deserve respect, and your well-being should always come first.

Boundaries can be physical (such as limiting contact or cutting off communication completely) or emotional (such as no longer engaging in arguments or emotional pleas). Remember, your boundaries are valid, and you have the right to protect your peace.

5. Plan Your Exit Strategy

Leaving a toxic relationship, especially if it's been long-term, requires careful planning. Think about how to create the space you need to fully remove yourself from the situation. If possible, end the relationship in person, but if it feels unsafe or too emotionally charged, it might be best to do so in writing or over the phone.

In some cases, you may need to take additional steps, like changing phone numbers or blocking social media accounts, to fully distance yourself. If you share finances or living arrangements, consider consulting a professional or mediator to help with the transition.

 6. Focus on Healing and Self-Care

After leaving a toxic relationship, focus on healing. This may be a difficult process, but with time, you’ll come to realize how much strength you’ve gained. Prioritize self-care by practicing activities that nurture your mind, body, and soul. Exercise, journaling, meditation, or spending time with loved ones can all help restore balance and self-worth.

Take it one day at a time, and don't rush the healing process. Understand that it's normal to feel a mix of emotions, including relief, sadness, or guilt. Allow yourself to grieve the end of the relationship, but remember that this is an important step toward a healthier and happier future.

 7. Build a Supportive Network

Surround yourself with people who uplift and support you. Whether it’s friends, family, or a community group, building a supportive network is essential for long-term healing. Seek out relationships that are built on mutual respect, trust, and love, and allow yourself to be vulnerable in positive ways.

The relationships you foster after leaving a toxic one should be ones that promote your growth, not ones that drain your energy.

 8. Embrace Your New Beginning

Leaving a toxic relationship isn’t just about cutting ties with someone who harmed you; it’s about embracing a new chapter of your life. You’ve taken control of your happiness, and now you can create a future that aligns with your values and desires.

As you move forward, be patient with yourself. Healing is not linear, and there may be times when you feel pulled back into old patterns. However, remember that the strength you’ve shown in ending the relationship is proof of your resilience and capacity for self-love.

 Conclusion

Quitting a toxic relationship is a difficult yet transformative experience. It’s not about the other person—it’s about your commitment to yourself and your well-being. By recognizing the signs of toxicity, seeking support, setting boundaries, and prioritizing your healing, you’ll be able to move on and build a healthier, more fulfilling life. You deserve love, respect, and happiness, and by ending a toxic relationship, you’re making room for all of that and more.

Remember, it’s okay to walk away for your mental and emotional health. Ending a toxic relationship may just be the first step in a journey toward a better, brighter future.

WELCOME NOTE

  Welcome to my blog

    Hello my wonderful readers!

I welcome you to my lifestyle blog, a sister to my lifestyle magazine, Celesta (which you will find in the pages section).  Allow me to take you along  with me in this amazing journey where we are going to discuss matters concerning our daily life experiences. If you feel like you can relate to one my topics you are free to comment or add something in the comment section. I want it feel like we are in a conversation, especially in issues that concern women in general. Our world is changing on a daily basis and we are moving along with a new revolution in technology. So we need to equip ourselves with the basic and necessary knowledge and life skills that go along with our daily life experiences. We are no longer in the past centuries where women were  only seen as  objects to men. We have to shine our light and put in the right places where others can reach it. Gone are those days when women could not take decisions without the consent of a male figure in their lives. now we are free to take charge of our lives.

Now if  we do things in together in unison even though, there are few who still dwell in the past, we will move forward to remove all the barriers that were put by the old laws to put us in the rear position where we could not do anything rather than running household chores and bearing children to raise them with the little amount of money we receive from our working partners, who happen to have their side chicks who would live to dress smart to impress the men while we were sweating in the scorching sun, to hoe the vegetable garden with little children on our backs while those coming from school would want to see their food ready when they come from school.

Now we wake up early in the morning to go and see to it that we contribute to building the economy of the country. That is where we need to improve ourselves and help others to grow with us so that we build a strong nation. There strength in us is so immense that whatever we agree upon can be possible.

All we need is to hold each other's hand and move along, putting a little bit of faith and compassion towards each other. Determination and faith accompanied by education can take us far as much as we want

Take a tour to my world of thinking, so that we can cruise together to deep side of our imaginations, where we can build a strong nation. Almost all the topics that will come across here are about us as  women and our capability to make a change or to contribute to the change that is already occurring in our environment.  I also included my author work, see the links below and click to read.

One of the topics are have emphasised in most of my articles and poems is perseverance. This is the most important phenomenon. most women who are top positions always have a story to tell and that story is a proof of their resilience towards the changes they came across as they climb their way to the top. The is no success story that has no history of challenges. All these become a strong story to tell that brings hope to those who are still on their path to success.

So it all depends on us. Let us do this.

Thank you
Enjoy

L.jali

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For more enjoyment click to my website the link is below  

 

Simple Ways To Keep Stress At Bay

How to de-stress

The stress related sicknesses like depression have become the most common problematic conditions nowadays. There is an escalating rate of suicidal cases especially among the youth. This all start by anxiety and loss of interest in all the things the sufferer used to do. The sufferer start to spend most of their time in bed without washing or brushing their teeth. And they lose all the hope and belief in themselves.

 How to avoid stress?

Stay away from stressors: the most important thing to do to avoid stress is to stay away from the things that cause you stress. Unfortunately, it is not only the things that can cause stress but people can too. So how does this happen you may ask: most people try very hard to impress or to fit in. This is what we call peer pressure in teenagers but the actual fact is that the adults can find themselves in that situation too. This sometimes happen at their workplace where impressing a hardcore boss becomes a priority. Chasing deadlines, trying to excel in presentations and rivalry between colleagues. If you find yourself in a situation where you no longer do anything for yourself but for the eyes of people start by reminding yourself that it is all about you. Start by asking yourself about why you started to do what you are doing in the first place. Stay in your own lane at your own pace. Remember that even those people you are focusing on have their own challenges as well. Even those you consider your role models have their shortcomings as well. So if you always divert from focussing on your lane and step on other people's, you will even forget about your own dreams. Stop living your life based on other people's expectations.

Living according to people's expectations can be cruel in the sense that they will never notice even if you are drowning or not coping at all. They will press until you no longer able anymore. In our black communities it is unlikely to notice a person who is this situation until they are in verge of losing their mind or committing suicide. It is only then that they will notice that such a person has a problem. Sometimes it becomes impossible to help them since the depression has reached its final stage.

Find a new hobby: Now you understand that this is about you not the other way round. Find yourself a new hobby or something you have more interest in. This could be a new game sport or going to a gym or even writing or drawing. Some people find it later that their hobby is actually their career path and they start to make earning out of it. Mine is writing and when I'm doing it I feel like I'm in my own world but at the same time I make sure it does not become an obsession. That is another problem. When you become obsessed with something it also becomes a problem. Remember that too much of everything is a sin.

Eat the right kind of food: now you fully understand that this is all about you. You can now focus on getting healthy by eating all the right kind of food that will boost your happy mood. In my book '' EAT YOUR BEAUTY OUT" I have considered the food that is good to boost your happy mood. Such food is  spinach which consists of zinc that is responsible for your happy mood. Kale is also good as spinach. Fruits like berries, banana, avocado, nuts( raw cashew, almonds) So if you eat your breakfast of oats with sliced bananas strawberries and nuts, you will have a perfect breakfast. For your meat, chicken and turkey are good. Salmon is also good and is a source of omega 3 fatty acids which our bodies can't produce on their own. For your snack eat dark chocolate. Dark chocolate is good and packed with iron, zinc and magnesium. Drink a lot of water and get enough sleep. You can drink detox water if you not keen in drinking water( I have some detox water recipes in the book I have mentioned earlier) so you can try them as well. Go easy on tea and coffee and try chamomile tea. Chamomile is good for boosting happy mood and even makes you sleep better.

Spoil yourself: some people spoil their mood by watching all the glamorous lifestyle and activities other people are posting in social networks. In this way they put pressure on themselves, forgetting the fact that not everything that is posted in social media is real. Start to focus on spoiling yourself. Buy yourself nice things, don't expect other people to give you gifts. Sometimes retail therapy can lift up your spirit.

Empower yourself: empowering yourself can be the best thing that you can do for yourself. Grasping all the knowledge as much as possible can divert you from all the negative things that can cause you stress. This will also stop you from being obsessed with other people s businesses and focus on your own. Remember where there is competition there's evil. By walking in your own lane at your own pace you will be able to tackle all the delaying tactics that throws themselves at you. Remember,' by looking at someone's plate you could be spilling your own gravy. So stick to your bush. Get with the kind of people who inspire you. Remember, if they don't push you up they will pull you down. Trust your instincts and obey your faith. Do not dwell on the past focus on the future. Move with time , learn new things. Do not allow any day to pass without you, leaning a new things no matter how trivial it may seem, it can be a stepping stone tomorrow.



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