WELCOME NOTE

  Welcome to my blog

     Hello my wonderful readers!

I welcome you to my lifestyle blog, a sister to my lifestyle magazine, Celesta (which you will find in the pages section).  Allow me to take you along  with me in this amazing journey where we are going to discuss matters concerning our daily life experiences. If you feel like you can relate to one my topics you are free to comment or add something in the comment section. I want it feel like we are in a conversation, especially in issues that concern women in general. Our world is changing on a daily basis and we are moving along with a new revolution in technology. So we need to equip ourselves with the basic and necessary knowledge and life skills that go along with our daily life experiences. We are no longer in the past centuries where women were  only seen as  objects to men. We have to shine our light and put in the right places where others can reach it. Gone are those days when women could not take decisions without the consent of a male figure in their lives. now we are free to take charge of our lives.

Now if  we do things in together in unison even though, there are few who still dwell in the past, we will move forward to remove all the barriers that were put by the old laws to put us in the rear position where we could not do anything rather than running household chores and bearing children to raise them with the little amount of money we receive from our working partners, who happen to have their side chicks who would live to dress smart to impress the men while we were sweating in the scorching sun, to hoe the vegetable garden with little children on our backs while those coming from school would want to see their food ready when they come from school.

Now we wake up early in the morning to go and see to it that we contribute to building the economy of the country. That is where we need to improve ourselves and help others to grow with us so that we build a strong nation. There strength in us is so immense that whatever we agree upon can be possible.

All we need is to hold each other's hand and move along, putting a little bit of faith and compassion towards each other. Determination and faith accompanied by education can take us far as much as we want

Take a tour to my world of thinking, so that we can cruise together to deep side of our imaginations, where we can build a strong nation. Almost all the topics that will come across here are about us as  women and our capability to make a change or to contribute to the change that is already occurring in our environment.  I also included my author work, see the links below and click to read.

One of the topics are have emphasised in most of my articles and poems is perseverance. This is the most important phenomenon. most women who are top positions always have a story to tell and that story is a proof of their resilience towards the changes they came across as they climb their way to the top. The is no success story that has no history of challenges. All these become a strong story to tell that brings hope to those who are still on their path to success.

So it all depends on us. Let us do this. 

Thank you
Enjoy

L.jali

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Simple Ways To Keep Stress At Bay

How to de-stress

The stress related sicknesses like depression have become the most common problematic conditions nowadays. There is an escalating rate of suicidal cases especially among the youth. This all start by anxiety and loss of interest in all the things the sufferer used to do. The sufferer start to spend most of their time in bed without washing or brushing their teeth. And they lose all the hope and belief in themselves.

 How to avoid stress?

Stay away from stressors: the most important thing to do to avoid stress is to stay away from the things that cause you stress. Unfortunately, it is not only the things that can cause stress but people can too. So how does this happen you may ask: most people try very hard to impress or to fit in. This is what we call peer pressure in teenagers but the actual fact is that the adults can find themselves in that situation too. This sometimes happen at their workplace where impressing a hardcore boss becomes a priority. Chasing deadlines, trying to excel in presentations and rivalry between colleagues. If you find yourself in a situation where you no longer do anything for yourself but for the eyes of people start by reminding yourself that it is all about you. Start by asking yourself about why you started to do what you are doing in the first place. Stay in your own lane at your own pace. Remember that even those people you are focusing on have their own challenges as well. Even those you consider your role models have their shortcomings as well. So if you always divert from focussing on your lane and step on other people's, you will even forget about your own dreams. Stop living your life based on other people's expectations.

Living according to people's expectations can be cruel in the sense that they will never notice even if you are drowning or not coping at all. They will press until you no longer able anymore. In our black communities it is unlikely to notice a person who is this situation until they are in verge of losing their mind or committing suicide. It is only then that they will notice that such a person has a problem. Sometimes it becomes impossible to help them since the depression has reached its final stage.

Find a new hobby: Now you understand that this is about you not the other way round. Find yourself a new hobby or something you have more interest in. This could be a new game sport or going to a gym or even writing or drawing. Some people find it later that their hobby is actually their career path and they start to make earning out of it. Mine is writing and when I'm doing it I feel like I'm in my own world but at the same time I make sure it does not become an obsession. That is another problem. When you become obsessed with something it also becomes a problem. Remember that too much of everything is a sin.

Eat the right kind of food: now you fully understand that this is all about you. You can now focus on getting healthy by eating all the right kind of food that will boost your happy mood. In my book '' EAT YOUR BEAUTY OUT" I have considered the food that is good to boost your happy mood. Such food is  spinach which consists of zinc that is responsible for your happy mood. Kale is also good as spinach. Fruits like berries, banana, avocado, nuts( raw cashew, almonds) So if you eat your breakfast of oats with sliced bananas strawberries and nuts, you will have a perfect breakfast. For your meat, chicken and turkey are good. Salmon is also good and is a source of omega 3 fatty acids which our bodies can't produce on their own. For your snack eat dark chocolate. Dark chocolate is good and packed with iron, zinc and magnesium. Drink a lot of water and get enough sleep. You can drink detox water if you not keen in drinking water( I have some detox water recipes in the book I have mentioned earlier) so you can try them as well. Go easy on tea and coffee and try chamomile tea. Chamomile is good for boosting happy mood and even makes you sleep better.

Spoil yourself: some people spoil their mood by watching all the glamorous lifestyle and activities other people are posting in social networks. In this way they put pressure on themselves, forgetting the fact that not everything that is posted in social media is real. Start to focus on spoiling yourself. Buy yourself nice things, don't expect other people to give you gifts. Sometimes retail therapy can lift up your spirit.

Empower yourself: empowering yourself can be the best thing that you can do for yourself. Grasping all the knowledge as much as possible can divert you from all the negative things that can cause you stress. This will also stop you from being obsessed with other people s businesses and focus on your own. Remember where there is competition there's evil. By walking in your own lane at your own pace you will be able to tackle all the delaying tactics that throws themselves at you. Remember,' by looking at someone's plate you could be spilling your own gravy. So stick to your bush. Get with the kind of people who inspire you. Remember, if they don't push you up they will pull you down. Trust your instincts and obey your faith. Do not dwell on the past focus on the future. Move with time , learn new things. Do not allow any day to pass without you, leaning a new things no matter how trivial it may seem, it can be a stepping stone tomorrow.



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Embrace what you have!

 

There is a little story that I like to relate to when I'm raising this topic. This little story goes like this " a man went to Kimberly in search of diamonds. On his way he came across a little shining stone. Not realising the value of the stone, he played with it until it got lost. When he arrived in Kimberly, he saw diamonds. He later realised the importance of the stone he lost. It was a diamond and it had a great value.

The gist of this story is that,  we should appreciate those we have while we still have them. Those people who were always around us even in the most difficult times of our lives. They were there when we needed them the most. The outbreak of the Corona pandemic had taught us in many ways. Some lost their loved ones while others lost their jobs and businesses. Now, most of us feel and know how it is like not having something you need when you need it the most.

In our lifetime there are people and things that come seasonal. There are those people who come into our lives when we make it in life, just to celebrate with us. There are those who watch at a distance. These kind of people they stay in wait for our down fall or our breakthrough. It is up to them to celebrate with us or wear their long face, sulking at our success. And then there are those who help us through the way to our success. These people come at a season when we need help and then the wish you luck. Some times these people tend to be forgotten. These are the people who need to be mentioned when we celebrate our success. Just the mention of their names make them proud. There is a lot that I forgot to mention, those who are there to take the credit. These ones would even blow their trumpet to show everyone that you are where you are because of them. These are Misters and Mrs/s know-it-all. The jacks of all trades but the Masters of none. They know every outcome of every project you are doing. They have seen it before but it never worked. Why do you think it will work for you without their knowledge. Then, boom, when you have achieved, they are there to collect the credit. And then, there are those who always been there for us through thick and thin. These are the ones who open the door for us when we come home late. They wish us luck when we go out there. They celebrate the good news with us. They celebrate our success with us. These are the ones we should always keep. Yes others, above play a vital role in our lives. They motivate us to do more. Even those who are waiting for our down fall make us to strive more. They should be there to witness our victory. As the Psalm 23 says ' He prepares ( I would like to say (" He prepaid) a table (rather a bunquet) for me infront of my enemies. So, they need to be, there and watch you dine with your loved ones. 

Thanks enjoy 

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The Africa Day

 Today, the 25th May, marks one of the most important dates in our lifetime, the Africa day. This is a day to embrace our Africanism, our cultures, our history and unity. Our continent is one of the largest and has a diversity of cultural backgrounds with different languages and ethnic groups. Today we embrace all its beauty and riches. Africa is rich in many ways. It is rich in history. 

For a long time we thought that education and civilization originated from the West. In fact civilization started here in Africa and Egypt is where it all started. The first form of writing originated in Egypt at around 4000BC. This form of writing was known as hieroglyphics. It consisted of symbols and signs in which the ancient Egyptians used to communicate. Egypt was the richest country, the minerals, the food production and animal husbandry. You will remember that under the reign of Pharoah, who was the king back then, the Israelites migrated to Egypt when they faced a drought in their country. 

So, Africa is so rich in history. The civilization came along with the new revolution in agriculture. Mh-h! African civilization, I like the sound of that. Our continent has a diversity of religious beliefs as well. The one thing that is good about all of this diversity is respect of each other's beliefs and spiritual background. We have our own way of embracing the diversity of cultures and beliefs and that goes along with our sense of Unity and respect. There is a  concept of ubuntu which is an African thing. Even in the time of our forefathers, the spirit of ubuntu ( humanity) was the theme of Africanism. Allow me to say Africa is the mother of all nations. I say this because, according to our history, the first inhabitants during the old stone age at around 30000BC were residing at areas around the great Nile river, which is now Egypt. These people were hunter gatherers, that means they live on hunting. As the time went by these people moved to the northern areas above the red sea. They scattered in those areas that are now in the East of Europe. Even the Bible (our religious history) suggest that the descendants of Ham, the second born of Abraham, were assigned to live on hunting from the wild. And these descendants were Cush, Egypt ( who later resided along the Nile river) Put and Canaan, who later resided in the Eastern part of Europe. So, it is in our blood, Africa is a mother to nations. We always keep that spirit of ubuntu.

Our leaders are in the footsteps of our forefathers to bring about this concept of ubuntu which is in jeopardy of being lost because of many things like poverty and other challenges that the country is facing in areas of development. Years ago, one of the African leaders, former president Thabo Mbeki raised a concept of African renaissance. His main objective was to bring about this concept of ubuntu which is the core of Africanism. So, today we embrace all those things that make us Africans. We are Africans and Africa is our continent. We will strive to save its history. And togetherness is the key concept to achieve this goal. We African women have a responsibility to set a trend for our future generation. We are the backbone of our homes and mothers of the nation. It is in our power to bring about the change in our country. A change that will not alter the theme Africanism but to strengthen it. Women in the past have set a trend by fighting for women rights. Women of 1956 paved the way to put in spotlight so that we can be able to raise our voices and combat the gender based discrimination. It is up to us to roll up our sleeves and fight for what is rightfully ours and our children. This call for unity and the spirit of togetherness. Africa is ours!

We celebrate the Africa day

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Eating for your beauty

Did you know?

Eating healthy is the best thing you can do for your skin before you resort to beauty treatment such as scrubbing, exfoliating and the works.  In fact your beauty should start from within. Your skin is made up of three layers:- The epidermis (outermost layer of skin that provides a waterproof barrier and creates our skin tone)
The dermis ( the layer beneath the epidermis that contains a tough connective tissue, hair follicles and sweat glands)
The deeper subcutaneous tissue (hypodermis) is made up of fat and connective tissue.
As we know that the skin makes the part of who we are, we should keep it clean, protected and healthy. The first step is watch what we eat because what you eat is what you become. Naturally we have three food groups and those are:- Energy giving foods ( the carbohydrates and starch)
The body building foods ( the vitamins and minerals)
And the body protective foods(the proteins which their duty is to repair the torn skin cells.

Now we start a routine plan to take care of our beauty. 

Did you know?

For a glowing complexion you have to eat red fruit as your midmorning snack. Take for example a tomato - Tomatoes are packed with liposenene acid and antioxidants which are responsible for rejuvenation of skin cells. You can eat strawberries as well and they will help to lift up your happy mood, as we all know that stress is not good for our skin. You can also try the avocados they are good too, you can enjoy them as salads or smoothies 

( I have the recipes in the book I mentioned earlier) Foods that are packed with vitamin A and D are good for our skin as well as our eyesight and such foods are :- pumpkins, carrots, apples and so on. Eating a balanced meal with lots of vitamins and proteins helps to improve hair growth and strength. Take also multivitamins and drink a lot of water. You can try detox water it is good also especially with lemon.

 Even the smoothies are also good as a breakfast on the go. If your schedule is busy grabbing a smoothie is an answer. (see the recipes in the book I mentioned earlier)
Your kitchen is the right place to start your beauty therapy. In your cupboard there are also products you can use on your skin as a beauty treatment. Right there in your cupboard there are toners exfoliators and facial musks. We will reserve this topic for another issue. For now we are focusing on our inner beauty. 

 Perseverance

 ''It doesn't matter how slowly you go, as long as you do not stop''.

The saying that goes ' Rome was not built in one day" has a clear meaning in our journey to success.

Climbing a ladder to success is a long and sometimes a tiring journey. As for me I can't remember how many doors I've knocked at that were closed. Does this really matter. The answer is a big No. What is important is that how many doors have been opened after you have knocked. There could be no opened doors at all but this does not mean you have to give up on your journey. Most of us like me worry about the age. When you see yourself growing older without achieving anything, we start to panic.  Okay! Let me ask this " who said achieving has got anything to do with your age? 

Let take for example, there are people  we know who achieved their dreams at their later stage in life. Look at our late first black president Mr Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela. He spent twenty seven years in jail before his dream of a democratic free South Africa came to pass. He became a president for few years before he resigned. Did he ever regretted that ? No, instead he encouraged young people to go to school so that they become better leaders tomorrow. This means that we have to start at the bottom to go to the top not the other way round otherwise you will fall from top.

Every success story has a trail of failures and disappointments. I don't know how many times I was turned down by many publishers for my first book to be published. At some point I was told that my work is not worth publishing. There was a time I wanted to believe that until I realized that no work is worth publishing until it becomes published. This means that most authors have been turned down  before their work hit the publish market. Everyone knows about the unsolicited work not being accepted. 

Even the most well known music star Beyonce was once told that she could never sing or she was not s talented singer. Did that stop her from finding her way to success ? No, instead she proved them wrong. She is now s best selling female artist. Even the well known Anita Barker was labelled as not the talented singer but she became a well known female vocalist. The list is endless but what remains us that anyone can do anything as long as they put their mind into it. Everyone is a winner out there.

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Sisterhood

Helping a sister out

Helping each other as  women can be a great deal of hard work at times. Sometimes, by some unknown reasons we end up pulling each other down instead of lifting each other up. Jealousy, envy ( the green eyed monster) is a disease that is associated with women. There is a saying that goes " charity begins at home. If we start by practising the acts of goodness by complimenting and encouraging those who are close to us we can easily spread this to someone and to the community at large. 

We as women should come together and help to empower each other. There are many women support programs we should introduce each other to. There are even opportunities out there other women are unaware of especially those who are in remote formerly disadvantaged areas. We can start by introducing each other to some government technological equipped sectors.

I was amazed one time I was using a local library in order to use the Wifi. I experienced a hard time there being criticized for abusing government resources since I had to go there almost everyday. The actual point behind that criticism was not about the Wi-Fi, it was about jealousy. Since they did not understand what I was doing they opted to discourage me. 

The worst part of this is that it was the women who were doing this. After they realized that I was doing something that could help them they started to accuse me of being selfish and arrogant for not involving them in what I was doing. So now that they wanted to be involved in my projects, I had to open my arms and welcome them as if nothing happened. Who was selfish in this point?

The fact that sometimes we are mean and cruel towards each other gives an input in the slow development ,specially in our townships. You have to be connected to some high profile people to get best opportunities or you have to bribe someone to get access to some opportunities.

We should start at the bottom to uplift each other so that those at the top can be able to pull those at the bottom.
Let's do this Ladies.